美国小哥上网求助！“我的中国老公被家人逼着办一场假婚礼，我该支持吗...”

For background: I am a gay American man and my husband is a gay Chinese man. We are lawfully married and live in the USA. We’ve been married 5 years.

My spouse has received enormous pressure from his family in China to fake-marry a woman. His family want the marriage to 1) alleviate social pressure from asking relatives; and 2) receive the cash attendees will give as a wedding gift (some of which will be given to me and my husband—around 100k USD).

I have never been on board with this idea. I think it is extremely disrespectful to me and erases my existence. However, after much back and forth, I have agreed to the charade. My husband will “marry” my childhood best friend, Regina [26F]. We are paying for Regina’s travel and lodging in China. She will also be bringing her boyfriend (who will act as her brother). I am supposed to pretend to be Regina’s half-brother, since my hair color is different from her and her boyfriend. This further distances me from the intimacy of my actual, married relationship. I feel like the unwanted step-child in this arrangement.

I do not fully understand the cultural differences and the NEED for this fake marriage. I have been doing this for my husband and to placate his parents. My husband is only doing this so his parents will leave him alone and for the cash he will get from the wedding. He doesn’t understand my hurt feelings about the symbolism behind him marrying someone else. To him, it’s just theater.

Do I continue to go along with this farce? How do I feel like I have some control over this? Is the cash worth it, or is it just a Faustian trade?

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